I always find myself thinking, “Should I be doing more?”
The title is kind of misleading, In a way. I know where I want to go, I just don’t know where my final destination is. Or, if I even have one. I don’t have a concrete plan about my future. But I got bits and pieces floating about. The way I see it, there are a shit ton of people my age who got their shit under control. In terms of their career, what they do in their free time, and relationships. I mean, those are the three basic factors of being adult right?
I’ma strong believer in this. Because in all honesty, what do I have better to do? At times I catch myself lacking the motivation to stay consistent with the things I’m passionate about. My blogs, getting certified, marketing and promoting my own workout program. It gets to a point that all these things that I cared about so much. The things that brought so much joy to my life. Just became work.
That’s the flaw with that way of thinking. Thinking that you have to constantly be working towards your goals. Ultimately burning yourself out on chasing your dreams. It’s more realistic to do something everyday that puts you closer to where you want to be. Instead of trying to do everything right now, expecting quick results, and getting mad when you don’t see them.
I’m a procrastinator in the purest form. I literally got pages on end with blog ideas. I have unfinished work out plans. Still have to decide what program I want to get certified in. Or if I’m even ready for all that right now. I would love to find a place between work and passion. Because that’s scary if you really think about it. What if one day I wake up and not want to do this anymore? What if something that I was so passionate about became something I dread? Then what else would I have?
This saying literally has burned bridges with people I once held in high standards. Because everybody has their own interpretation of this saying. Which is why I thought this would be perfect for me. There seems to be no flaw in it right? So what do I consider treating myself?
Going out and getting drunk? Take a trip somewhere? Sex? Go out and buy something that I really don’t need? I don’t know.
This is the part of my life where I felt completely lost, until a few weekends ago. I know, I haven’t really traveled anywhere yet. But I really enjoyed my mini vacation in Bismarck. Absolutely loved seeing one of my closest friends again. Meet the people she grew up with, see her childhood home. I loved every second of it.
Enjoyed linking up with my friend from my home town. Liked seeing that he’s still passionate about football as he was when he first started. Loved hearing about all the places this game has taken him. All the peoples he’s met. I honestly couldn’t imagine having a better time here in North Dakota. Blew away all expectations.
That’s the thing with sports and college. You make all these connections with different types of people from all over without even realizing it. At the time, they’re just classmates, teammates, neighbors,,,etc. Then once you get done with school, you leave with all these connections all over the country. Opportunities to visit places you’ve never been.
Traveling is definitely something I can see myself doing on a monthly basis.
Right now, at this point in time I’m completely against settling down. I’m not going to say it’s because of my last relationship, but my past relationships as a collective. I’ve jumped from one long term relationship to the next ever since I was in High school. Never really got the chance to enjoy the single life. Not in terms of going out and being with every chick that I lay eyes on. But enjoying truly being by myself. Which is a strange concept to some people. But I truly, truly, truly, enjoy being be myself.
See the thing with random hook ups is that they only stay random the first night. Ya know, almost always after the first night expectations start to grow; There’s going to be a date here soon. What are we doing? Oh, you don’t want to be in a relationship. I’m cool with that. Then a week or two rolls by and it’s a complete 180. So, in my mind, the only enjoyment I find in “Enjoying the single life” is the part that people are absolutely terrified of.
SO, in conclusion, I don’t have a plan. But is that such a bad thing? As long as I have a general idea of what I need to be happy. What I need to do to achieve my goals. Does it really matter if I don’t know where my final destination is? How bout we just enjoy the ride for now.
Stay woke y’allGoals, Life, Motivation