Kareem Hunt’s situation inspired me to write about my own personal domestic violence encounter. Now everybody has seen the video flying around with Kareem Hunt, if you haven’t I’ll post it below. Let me get this straight, this blog post isn’t about defending what he did. It’s about my personal experience with dv. Leaning more toward the underlying issue of, females playing the victim role to an absolute T. Also, how the law is going to side with them in every domestic dispute.
In this day and age domestic violence isn’t something the law takes lightly. It is showed, that recently there has been an increase in minor dv arrests by 70%. Heavily concentrated on low-income and minority groups. Take that as you may, but it sounds like to me that the law is stepping their game up to put an end to dv. Which I’m all for, but the first thing you think of when someone says, “Domestic Violence” is men beating on women. It is EXTREMELY rare for people to think, “Oh, Some chick beating up on her bf again.” when they hear that. But why is that? Why is it so absurd to believe in some cases, females are the cause of domestic disputes?
In my own personal experiences I can attest to the fact that dv isn’t a masculine crime. But it’s geared to the angel that the vast majority of cases result in the Man going to jail. This is a subject that I don’t like to speak on, but I have gone to jail due to domestic violence. It is imperative that you guys know that I never hit her. Much more that I would ever hit a women. When I say put hands on her, I mean I grabbed her. Still sounds bad.
In my case, me and my ex gf had been going at it all summer in 2016. One night I decided that enough was enough and it was time to to end it. We got into another one of our daily fights on a Thursday night. Things were getting heated, when in the midst of her shouting at the top of her lunges. She escalated things by becoming physical. I left hoping she will calm down. Not surprised at all, I come home to her throwing all my things in the trash. Which isn’t out of the normal for her. I go back into my room and see that my room is a mess which also isn’t out the norm for her.
The thought of me being stuck in this relationship any longer with her was crippling me. Just breaking up with her never worked because she would refuse to leave. Moving out was out the question because I didn’t have money for another place. Crashing on a friends couch wasn’t going to solve the issue either. The realization of being trapped in this relationship is what drove me to retaliate.
As she was throwing bows at me, I grabbed her by her traps out of frustration. Not by her neck, I can’t stress that enough. The upper shoulder lower neck area, which is also called the traps. Believe me or not, I can care less. But I literally had to lock myself in the bathroom and hope she runs out of steam. As I beg her to just leave. When it was all over I told her she needed to get her things out by the time I get home from morning workouts.
I got home the next morning and she thought all was forgiven. I reminded her again, that she needed to be out. I gave her till I got back from Cheyenne Saturday so she had a few days. Me and Jesse hopped in the car and a couple hours into the drive I get a call from the Spearfish P.D. Saying they needed me to come in for questioning whenever I get back to town. Ten mins go by and my ex is calling me saying how her friends forced her to report me. Talking about how I bruised up her neck. Let me reiterate, I never touched her neck, much less left a bruise on her. I brushed it off because I thought I was going to go in and tell them my side of the story. Apparently that’s wishful thinking.
When I got back into town Saturday, I had my brother drop me off at the police station. Didn’t even stop at my place to relax or grab a bite to eat. I told him that I didn’t know how long this was going to take so I’ll call him when It was done. I walked in, gave them my name, they then took me to a room and slapped cuffs on me without even saying a word. Let me remind you guys I was called in for questioning. Did the meaning to the term “questioning” mean something else in South Dakota? They had me in shackles and cuffs within five mins. Not one word was said. They took me up to deadwood on Domestic Violence charge. When I got there I recognized the jailer who was handling my booking. He told me they had to call extra in extra guys “Just in case”. Like I was some type of animal that was lashing out at everybody.
When I got out the next morning they said some chick was calling all night and morning asking about me. Guess who paid the bail and was waiting outside for me. Isn’t that so funny? That I’m labeled a women beater now. But as long as she pays the bail and picks me up, all is forgiven in her mind.
I can’t help but wonder if the roles were reversed, would she get the same treatment I got.
That’s it for this late night blog post. Feel free to message me if you have feedback you wanted to share about this topic.