Welcome to another late night post about Life
I live my life by a flip of a coin. If i’m ever on the fence about doing something, I flip over it. Pretty dumb thing to live by I know, but it hasn’t failed me yet.
When I first started doing this it was over little things. Like whether or not I should go to the gym, go out for the night, pick up an extra shift. Simple stuff like that. The outcomes usually end in my favor and I’ve only went against the flip once.
The only time I’ve ever went against the flip, I almost lost my life.
The flip was over whether I should drive to Cheyenne to pick up Marley or not. For those who don’t know, Marley is my cat. One of my friends from my hometown got her for me for a graduation present. She was just going to send her up with my mom since she was coming for my graduation anyways. But I was so anxious to get her that I decided to make a trip to Cheyenne myself a couple weeks prior to graduation. But I was on the fence about it. It was supposed to snow at any moment and the tread on my tires was trash. So instead of playing it safe and just waiting for my mom to bring her I flipped over it.
“Alright, Heads I go get her. Tails I stay home.”
*Coin lands on tails
“Fuck it, Ima go anyways.”
So instead of listening to my voice of reason (the coin). I hopped in my car, filled up my tank, grabbed my donut, and started the five hour drive to Cheyenne.
Within the first hour it starts raining, then it turned into snow. Which are obvious signs to cut your losses and turn around. But these signs just went right over my head. I was in my own little world in my car. I was bumping Netflix through the speakers, munchin on my donut, and pounding monsters. I didn’t have a care in the world.
Another hour goes by and there’s no sign that the weather is going to let up.
My buddy Thayer who was on his way to Spearfish for the Spring game. Called me and said he slid into a ditch and that he was turning around. Now Thayer actually kept his truck in tip top conditions at all times. So if he was sliding off the road then the roads must’ve been really bad. He actually told me that I needed to turn around and get my cat another day. For some strange reason this also went over my head and I kept driving.
I get more then half way to Cheyenne and it happens.
I hit a patch of black ice and started sliding into the opposite lane. I have absolutely no control over my car. My heart starts to race and I start panicking. On the opposite side of the road coming right towards me is a semi. At this point I’m desperately trying to regain control of my car and try to get it off the road or back on my side. Desperately pleading with god, “Please! Please! Please! God NO!” and before I know it, the semi is inches away from my car. The hood of my car is perpendicular with the front of his. The blinding lights from the semi meets my gaze and everything goes white, there’s nothing else I can do. I put my head down, close my eyes, and just scream.
Dark thoughts are racing through my head as I’m waiting for the impact to take it’s toll.
“It’s over.” “I’m dead.”
“Not like this.”
“Not weeks before I walk the stage.”
“Is this really how it ends?”
I open my eyes and I’m in a ditch on my side of the road. I get out of the car without a scratch on me. And no damage is done to my car. I look around to see the semi that was seconds away from taking my life driving in the opposite direction as if nothing happened. I get back in my car and without even thinking, I call my ex gf. She answers and I can’t explain to her why I was calling. But something about hearing her voice brings me back to reality. I lie to her and tell her it was a misdial and hung up. I slowly start regaining my composure and I call my mom. I tell her what just happened. At this point my adrenaline is through the roof. I can’t stop myself from shaking. As I’m telling her what happened tears are rolling down my face. I get my car out the ditch and start my drive back to Spearfish. When I made it back into town I immediately head to the Zbar for to enjoy the best beer I’ve ever tasted.
I’m blessed to be here right now and not a day goes by without thinking about that night. Every time I think back to that night I can’t explain how that semi doesn’t hit me. I can’t explain how I made it home. I can’t explain why every single time I think about the blinding lights from the semi, I start crying. I just know that I’m blessed to be alive and I’ll never go against the flip again.
James Marshall Signing off, stay woke everyone.